Our chips are all in

I really wish I had some spectacular news to tell everyone...I don't.  There haven't been any referrals in a few weeks.  Ethiopian courts are shutting down about now (or soon) for rainy season.  Referrals can still come in but not much gets processed until they're fully back open again in about two months or so.  We'll have to see how many referrals actually come in during this time.

Regardless, we are 'all in.'  There's no backing out, slowing down, hesitating for us.  We're in this thing and so ready for it all.  We're committed.

I found this quote today and it's really made me think...maybe it will make you do the same.

 German philosopher, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe (1749-1832)

"Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness.  Concerning all acts of initiative and creation, there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans:  that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too.  All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred.  A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.  Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it.  Boldness has genius, power and magic in it.  Begin it now."

Two Months Waiting

In honor of the MLB All Star Game tonight, our number today was brought to you by a jersey.  Yes, we're officially number 37 on the overall waiting list.  I got confirmation of that today.  We have moved up 17 spots in two months!!  I can't believe it!  I was curious about whether we should still plan on waiting the rest of the 7 months of the 9 month estimate and I was told yes, according to other families with similar preferences who are currently getting their referrals, they're waiting 9 months so that is what we should expect.  I certainly can't imagine waiting seven more months to move 37 spots though.  Also, I think the families who are currently getting referrals had more families ahead of them in line than we did starting out.  Hopefully this will be right and we'll get to see our sweet Coco's face much sooner than we expect!

Two months have gone by smoother than I had imagined...that kind of makes me nervous for the months to come!

Please continue to pray for a speedy process.

Baby Coco

We didn't let anyone know Cooper's name until he entered the world for various reasons.  Right now, I can't help but try to name this child we're waiting and praying for.  I'm having a little bit of a naming issue though. 

Cooper was named after family and because I'd always wanted to name a boy Cooper.  I've always had all of my children's names picked out, first and middle.  I have a whole list stored in my head that no one but Justin will ever know because no, we're not telling anyone before they arrive so why discuss it prior with anyone other than him?

This one's different.  I'm not sure if I can name a child of African descent something that would be considered a very "white" name such as Sarah or Liam or Austin or Jessica.  Yet, I don't really want their teacher to look at the class roster before school starts and assume the child is black (there is nothing wrong with this but I'd rather not anyone have preconceived notions about him/her). 

Is there such thing as a racial neutral name?

Because we didn't publicly name Cooper until he arrived, his name was El Chico...the boy as translated from Spanish.  Some lady heard us refer to him as El Chico while we were shopping once and she said, "Well, I guess Mama likes the Mexican food, huh?" very obnoxiously.  With my pregnant, hormone-induced attitude, I almost let her have it!  I was mad that she assumed I craved Mexican food and named my kid after El Chico, the restaurant.  Didn't everyone know that meant 'the boy'?  And hello!  I never craved anything while pregnant.  Plus, I was so diabetic at the time I couldn't have eaten there anyways.  But whatever.  I'm over it.  :)  Certainly not bitter about it whatsoever!

Back to the baby at hand....what to name it?  I have no idea.  It needs a name though.  I keep dreaming about that sweet, soft, chocolate skin.  Right now, I guess it's a baby cocoa bean in it's mommy's belly....Baby Coco it is.

Any naming suggestions you have will be considered...but don't be surprised if we don't tell the name until he or she is officially ours.

Sweetness

He melts my heart

I could leave it at that...but I won't.  He's a maniac...but denies it.  He loves freedom and independence...yet he's the sweetest snugglebug I've ever known.  I could go on all day...but I won't.

Awhile back, our household was hit by the "Toy Stoy" bug.  We have watched Toy Story and Toy Story 2 countless times in the past month, play with a set of miniature characters, memorized lines from the movies, taken pictures with Buzz Lightyear, and bought Woody PJ's. 

All the while, he never knew how excited I was to go see Toy Story 3!!  I couldn't wait.  Cooper has never been to the movie theater so we figured we'd go all out and see it in 3D at IMAX (he got in free!)......oh, and we got lemonade and popcorn, too.

WHY they didn't have kid-sized glasses is beyond me but oh well.  He kept them on and absolutely loved the movie.  If we could just figure out how to explain why we can't watch it at our house, we'd be doing great.

I thank God for Cooper's sweet, nurturing spirit.   He is always very concerned about the baby blankets I'm knitting for his new baby brother or sister.  He has also been asking a lot lately when the baby is coming and unfortunately, we don't have any answers for him.  We just say, "someday."  We think he understands this just a little.  Well, this weekend he asked for literally HOURS where the baby brother or sister is and when they were coming. 

It's conversations like this that absolutely melt me....
C:  When's baby brudur or sistur comin, Daddy?
J:  Soon, but they're not ready to come here yet.
C:  (Looking up, thinking, you can see his wheels turning)
J:  Do you know who's making the baby?
C:  Jesus!
J:  You're right!
C:  Well, where IS Jesus?
J:  He's in heaven.  Do you know where heaven is?
C:  It's a surprise!

A little while later he was actually boo-hooing in hysterics because he wanted this baby to come here to our house NOW.  We snuggled, talked, calmed down.  I got his beach ball globe and we talked about where we lived and where the baby brother or sister will be and that Mommy and Daddy will have to get it someday.  This seemed to satisfy him (it's not the first time we've done this). 

But then I got to thinking...he loves babies and he really loves this baby doll at my mom's house that she got for the girls.  Maybe Cooper would like to have a baby doll of his own and it would satisfy his anxiety/curiosity of the upcoming sibling.  Boys playing with dolls really isn't a big deal to me.  I think it's good for them to learn to take care of something and show love in that way.  Now, pink, frilly, princess or Barbie-ish is NOT okay.  :)

We went to Toys R Us the next day to pick out a simple, somewhat gender neutral baby doll (preferably not white).  Cooper was super excited and he said it needed baby bottles like the one at Nana's house.  We were on the search...

I found a sweet, soft little brown skinned baby doll and took it to Cooper and asked what he thought of it.  His reply?  "Oh, it's a black baby!!"  I said, "WHAT??  What kind of baby is this?"  "A black baby," he said again.  I had no idea he even knew that term!  He said it as if it were simply an observation and he has absolutely no problem with the baby or even the thought that we would have a black baby.  It was totally innocent.

I'm not sure exactly where he picked that one up but I'm just thankful it wasn't condescending in any way.  He has always been exposed to diverse people, we read Ethiopian adoption blogs of others and look at babies' pictures and we see kids of different races at church and he sees them in class at school as well.  He especially loves his big friend, Eric, who has spent some time at our house recently and he's African American.  I feel that we've done a pretty good job of exposing Cooper to diversity while not necessarily pointing out differences among people.  We see everyone so much the same and try to push away stereotypes.  Now we know he sees the differences among people and for now, it's only an observation.

Well, the baby made it home with us, along with a set of bottles with juice and milk.  He has decided this baby is a boy and it's name is Baby Goo.  Because the baby brother or sister is getting blankets made for it, Baby Goo also needed a blanket and pillow.  I let Cooper pick out some fabric from my stash...errr, wall o' fabric....and he chose the choo choo trains!  I whipped up this little creation in time for them to both lay down for their afternoon nap together.

After his nap we went to eat dinner with Granny and Pa, who had just gotten back from a trip.  He just had to take Baby Goo with him to show off.  I caught them holding hands in the back seat!

And when grandparents come home from a trip, what do they bring?  Souvenirs!  Cooper got a brand new harmonica along with some other lovely goodies.  He's pretty good at it, too!

Oh how I love this boy.  He's so trusting of his father and me.  He's a straightforward and honest little boy.  He has such a sense of wonder about him.  Yet, a nurturer and snugglebug he is.

The next project

I can't wait to see how all of this knits up!  It's soooo snuggly soft!

And we're countin' 'em down!

Referrals!!  There have been a couple in the past few weeks and then there were FIVE of them today!!  To my best calculations, we should be approximately number....

How much is enough?

I think I just found the next book in queue.  It's actually a follow-up book to, "Same Kind of Different Than Me" so I guess there'll be two.  They're written by Ron Hall, a wealthy art dealer, and Denver Moore, a former homeless man.  I read this excerpt on another blog and realized that this is exactly where my heart has been lately.

 

Since I been visitin a lotta churches, I hear people talkin 'bout how, after readin our story, they felt "led" to help the homeless, to come alongside the down-and-out.  But when it comes to helpin people that ain't got much, God didn't leave no room for feelin led.  

Jesus said God gon' separate us based on what we did for folks that is hungry and thirsty, fellas that is prisoners in jail and folks that ain't got no clothes and no place to live.  What you gon' do when you get to heaven and you ain't done none a' that?  Stand in front a' God and tell Him, "I didn't feel led"? 

You know what He gon' say?  He gon' say, "You didn't need to feel led 'cause I had done wrote it down in the Instruction Book."

Let's be real.  A lotta folks on the list that Jesus calls "the least of these" ain't the ones you gon' find down at the country club.  No, most a' them's the folks you gon' find in the jail or in the street.  But we got to go to all the people - the rich, the poor, the lowdown, and the dirty - and show 'em all we got the same thing for ever one of 'em: the love a' the Lord.  

I think part a' this problem is that too many folks ain't ready to face up to the fact that to love the unlovable, they got to face people that they fear.  They is afraid to get out of their regular livin space 'cause they afraid it might be suicide, am I right? 'Cause you wouldn't be scared a' nobody if you didn't feel like they was gon' do you wrong. 

Most people want to be circled by safety, not by the unexpected.  The unexpected can take you out.  But the unexpected can also take you over and change your life.  Put a heart in your body where a stone used to be. 

Encouragement for today

I stumbled upon this scripture today. Doesn't it always seem that you are led to the right scripture at exactly the right time?  Pretty cool.

So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up. Galatians 6:9 NLT

One Month Waiting

We've been waiting for exactly one month and we've moved up the waiting list approximately 10 spots!!  Way ahead of the estimate!  Woo Hoo!

The past month has been so busy with our 5th anniversary, finishing up school, etc. that I haven't had much computer time.  That is sure to change this summer, though.  

We have a lot going on in this house that I'll write about when I have more time.  Until then, I just want to say I have been encouraged by others' thoughtful words lately.  There are some really wonderful people in this world and I'm thankful to call several of them friends of mine.  

Today, my heart smiles.

Baby girl info

I received a reply to our request for records of the sweet baby girl I mentioned yesterday.  It seems many families are interested in her and there is already a family who is reviewing the records.  If they decline, the information will then be sent on to the next person who requested it.  This baby girl is just so special and wonderful, I'm sure she will find her forever family very soon and the reality is, it probably won't be us.  That's okay.  God's timing is perfect.  Not just right, but perfect.

Some great news is that we have been on the waiting list for 7 days now and there have been 6 referrals!  Congrats to all of the new families!  It puts us at #48 already and I'm really trying to not get my hopes up and be too confident that everything will be quick and smooth.  Praying it happens that way anyways!

First day of MDO

Cooper had a WONDERFUL time at Mother's Day Out today!  He ate all of his lunch from his fire truck lunchbox, played with new friends, napped, and made a wind sock that got hung up in his bedroom this afternoon.  He has no idea when "Tuesday" is, but he can't wait for it so he can go back again!

I got to leave school for a few minutes to meet him and Granny there so I could walk him in on his very first day!  And once again, if you couldn't tell, he hates getting his picture made.

Some more crazy ideas!

Cooper starts Mother's Day Out tomorrow and he's super pumped about getting to go to school.  We had to pack up extra clothes, a blanket, etc. for him to take and leave there.  While we were picking out his green blanket that he wanted so badly at Wally World, we decided to get him a little travel pillow as well.  Do they make tiny pillow cases for these things?  I have no idea.  That leads me to crazy idea #1 of the evening...I'll go home and sew up a quick little pillow case and Cooper can pick out what kind of fabric he wants!  I got the usual eye roll from the husband, ignored it, and told Coop how much fun it would be.  Heeheehee.  He "shopped" in my wall o' fabric and picked the blue puppies.  Isn't it cute?  Don't worry, it didn't take long but it also didn't get ironed before cut and sewn so it's a little wrinkled.

Crazy idea #2...I saw that there is a 2 month old baby girl on the waiting child list for our agency.  She has some somewhat unknown special needs and is SO beautiful and SO tiny!  Still not quite 7 lbs. yet and 2 mo. old.   We are approved for special needs to some extent but the past week (since being on the waiting list) I have thought long and hard about expanding our preferences to include other, maybe long term special needs.  This baby has a very interesting story and she is in NEED of a loving home.  We requested her information and more medical records that weren't posted on the website.  She was just posted this evening and I know of at least 2 families for sure who have requested her information before us.  We'll see what happens.  If we are able to review her records, I'll request to have someone at Arkansas Children's Hospital check them out and see what all she may need.  I'm so excited to think that there's even a possibility of getting this teeny tiny beauty!  Please pray!  I'll update with more as soon as I find out anything.

First Purchase

Isn't it cute?  Cooper got a frog lovey just like this from some good friends of ours as a shower gift and he sleeps with it EVERY night so I wanted something similar for the new baby.  Since we're official I can start buying a few things now...right?  I have just about decided on the nursery colors (yellow and gray) and figured a giraffe would work for either gender, especially from Africa.  So here it is in all of its squishy goodness.

Waiting For...Something Beautiful!!

I got a much anticipated email today from Ashley....we are officially a Waiting Family!!  We're number 54 on the waiting list and the estimated wait time will be 9 months for a baby of either gender and a few months longer for siblings.  We have specified that we would be open to all of this.  From now, it really is all in God's hands.  There are no more forms to fill out or phone calls to make.  We just wait and see what he provides!

NEEDTOBREATHE:  Something Beautiful

In your ocean I'm ankle deep
I feel the waves crashing on my feet
It's like I know where I need to be
I can't figure out
No, I can't figure out
Just how much air I will need to breathe
When your wave crashes over me
There's only one way to figure out
Will you let me drown
Will you let me drown

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire
Cause I just want
Something beautiful to touch me
I know that I'm in reach
I am down on my knees
And waiting for
Something beautiful

And the water is rising quick
And for years I was scared of it
We can't be sure when it will subside
So I won't leave your side
No I can't leave your side

Hey now, this is my desire
Consume me like a fire
Cause I just want
Something beautiful to touch me
I know that I'm in reach
I am down on my knees
And waiting for
Something beautiful

Mother's Day 2010

Cooper picked it out all by himself...so fitting.  I love this kid!  He makes me so proud to be his Mommy.  Someday he won't be the sweet, cuddly toddler he is today so I really try to make the most of those precious moments when he grabs my face, looks straight at me and says, "I love you, Mommy!  I missed you today, Mommy!" and gives me the sweetest kisses and hugs.  Totally melts my heart.

Today was not only Mother's Day, but Senior Sunday at church.  As we all watched the slide show and teared up to Mama's Rocking Song, I thought about the pictures we will one day submit for when our kids graduate high school.  We have a TON of Cooper, so that's no issue.  I wondered what kinds of pictures we will have to show for our next child.  No fresh headed newborn shots from a hospital bed.  No clever, professional poses.  The list could go on.  I started to get a little sad...I felt a little cheated.  Those are moments I will never be able to have with this next baby.  Then all of the opposite thoughts came to my mind.  Photo opportunities our family will have that most don't.  A referral picture--the very first glimpse of who we will someday hold in our arms.  Airport pictures of us finally becoming a family of four for the first time.  Maybe...just maybe, we would be able to include a picture of the birthfamily!  Yes, our family will look very different on the outside than the rest, but a mother's love for her children-no matter who they are or where they come from-is the same.

Every night at bedtime, we pray with Cooper for his baby brother or sister to come home quickly and safely.  He puts his head down, covers his eyes and concentrates.  When we're finished, we hear a big, "A-men!"  Although he doesn't understand the concept of a sibling, much less international adoption, I feel like he really is excited to have a baby brother or sister in the house.  I think he really wants to understand what we're talking about.

Today, much more than any other day, I'm thinking about our baby's birthmom.  I doubt anyone will celebrate her, buy her a sentimental card, bring her flowers, or take her to dinner.  I'm choosing to celebrate her and her selflessness.  I want to celebrate the fact that she's going to have to make a decision to relinquish a child that has grown inside of her, made her sick, brought her sleepless nights, and will look deep into her eyes with love and helplessness.  I want to honor her courage.  I want to celebrate her.  I've said this a few times before, but we have no idea who she is or what circumstances she is or will be facing in the future.  Please continue to pray for her health and safety in the coming months as God's plan is revealed to all of us.

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

And it's off!

The dossier has been sent to CHI!  I held that stack of paper and prayed everything was correct and it arrives to every destination over the next few weeks safely and quickly.  Once I left FedEx, I felt a little naked without all of those documents I've been toting around for so long.  I felt scared that I forgot something or that something is incorrect.  I felt content.  Content that all of the hard work is over for now and we will just be waiting.  I know that any kind of waiting process doesn't exactly scream contentment, but I know this is exactly what we have prayed for all these months and this is exactly where we are supposed to be.  

So, the hurry up ends and the wait begins!

Crazy Weekend

My thoughts have been a whirlwind the past few days and I feel like I need to "write" it all down or it will be gone.  This might get long-be forewarned.

Friday:  I got a call from Justin at about 1:30 pm saying the 171-H wasn't in the mail that day either.  I was super sad and was upset that I had to now stay at school and work.  I had planned on leaving early to get the dossier certified and mailed off to the agency.

That night, storms started ripping though Arkansas.  I can NOT handle tornado storms.  :::It takes me back to when Cooper was 7 months old, a tornado was coming, the sirens were going off, hail was beating against the house, we heard that it would be coming down some streets close to us, the power went out, I was rocking him (asleep) hunched on the floor with Justin hovered over us, and we heard it go over our house.  That's a sound I never want to hear again.  Never, will I ever, be able to keep my sanity during a tornado storm after this day.:::  We got the bathroom ready, Cooper flipped out because I was taking all of his toys out of the bathtub, we all put shoes and socks on (just in case), unplugged the computer, packed all of the dossier documents into the bathroom cabinet.  You know, all of the normal things you do when you think a tornado is about to destroy your home.  This IS normal, right?

All of our precious documentation, months of work, needed to stay safe.  After all, besides the three of us, it's the most important 'belonging' of the household.  After many hours of literally shaking while watching the weather, the storms finally went on through the state and we were able to sleep.

Saturday:  We all slept in a little so that was nice and Cheeburger Cheeburger it was for lunch!  We stayed around that shopping center for a bit, looking for a lovey for the baby.  I really want one just like Cooper's, just a yellow giraffe.  Who knows if such thing exists, but I want one.  :)  After no luck we decided to head home.

Oh, yeah!  That's exactly what you think it is!  Our GOLDEN TICKET!!!  The 171-H has arrived!  We will be on the waiting list soon.  Monday will be the day to get the dossier state certified at the Secretary of State's office and then FedExed to CHI.  I can't believe it!

More tornado storms and back in the bathroom cabinet went the dossier...this time, an even more important piece of paper went in there with it all.

Sunday:  We woke up to this...

Oh, how he loves his Handy Manny!  After church we had to finish up taking pictures for the dossier.

Eh, it's okay, I guess.  I like these MUCH better!  We were having fun reading/singing Old McDonald before changing from church clothes to play clothes.

Then it was off to go play outside!  It's been way to wet and stormy to do that this weekend.  On go the Monkey Boots!

He has no idea the ground is way too wet to be watering those weeds!

I guess playing outside was hard work........isn't he sweet?

Well, tomorrow will be filled with good stress and excitement as I get the dossier sent off.  The "hurry up" is now over and the looong "wait" begins.  Please pray for our baby and it's health and safety, along with his/her mommy.  I know I've said this before, but I have no idea what circumstances this birthmom will have to face within the next year.  I can't imagine.  Please pray for her comfort, hope, understanding.  I've had her on my mind a lot lately.

Puddle Jumping!

My sister has offered to do a fundraiser for us!  Contact her if you want to book an appointment.  If you have any questions, please let one of us know.

Want to know more information about this exciting event?  More details can

    be found at:  www.amykeltonphotography.com/puddlejumping.pdf

Our mailbox

did not contain the 171-H today... (poking out my pouty lip)