In a time of social media encouraging so many of us to either put a fake face forward or feel inferior to those who post a picture of life perfection, I'll take a few minutes and get real. No guilt.
I admit it, I don't:
*Shower every morning...sometimes I can't fit it in until nighttime
*Have a spotless, organized house
*Scrub the shower and change sheets as often as I'd like
*Make my own laundry detergent...there's not much that beats Charlie's Soap
*Plan fantastic outings for my kids
*Homeschool...or even plan to right now
*Bring home a paycheck
*Love every second of every day staying home with my kids
*Read my Bible and study like I want to
*Cloth diaper Silas like I did Cooper...don't ask!
*Shop very often or have very many cute clothes
But I do:
*Meal plan as healthy as our budget allows
*Splurge on a Target $1 bin treat now and then
*Get crafty with my kids
*Let my kids get dirty
*Try to have alone time with each kid a few times a week
*Knit/crochet/sew when I feel good
*Use a cash only, envelope system for budgeting
*Try to garden
*Limit TV time
*Discipline and teach my children to the best of my ability
*Limit processed foods and chemicals in my home
*Rest!
*Make time to have fun with friends
Looking at my 'Don't's it allows me to realize what goals I need to make for myself. It also reminds me that some things may be important to others but aren't priorities of mine and that's okay. I'm really okay with not doing the popular thing or something just because it's what society or a group of people believes you're 'supposed to' do.
Looking at my 'Do's it allows me to see what I value. It's a good reminder sometimes. I see how intentional choices I've made the past 2 years are playing out in my family and I like the way it looks. It's the result of goal setting over time. I'm getting comfortable in this season where God has me. There you go...realness.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Part 2
Five months later....so typical of life lately!
The basics of the 5 day hospital stay: They knew I was really sick, had taken 2 trips to Africa, liver function tests were up, massive headaches, lots of fever, dehydration, white count mostly normal. The infectious disease doc went crazy ordering tests to see what I may have. They ran tests for anything tick related, yellow fever, dengue fever, the list goes on. They even did finger pricks and put my blood on about 10 slides to look at under the microscope. At one point, I remember him coming in and telling me that he had no idea what was making me so sick but he knew I didn't have HIV or malaria. Well, that was positive, right? I don't remember how many times my blood was taken in those few days-I lost count. They were sending some tests to the CDC in Atlanta, some across town to a big lab, and some were being read there at the hospital. I felt like some kind of science experiement! I ended up having an abdominal CT scan and now just thinking of the drink they gave me makes me want to gag! The next day I had a spinal tap and totally flipped out. I'd had one in high school once when I was so sick and it was a traumatic experience and at this point I was so exhausted and sick and just wanted to feel good and be home. The final thing they had me do was a urine sample and the fact that it looked like blood-tinged dark beer made me really nervous about what was going on in my body.
You know what? God is faithful. He always has been and He always will be. I prayed the entire time I was there that they would find answers and I would receive healing.
The verdict:
~Enlarged spleen
~Affected liver and kidneys
I found out that I had cytomegalovirus (CMV). Apparently, most people get it as kids and are mostly asymptomatic and then become immune to it. I'm in the 20% of adults who never was exposed to it as a kid and when you get it as an adult, it's really bad. It's similar to mono in its symptoms but is in the chicken pox/herpes family. They told me it would take about 2 months to recover and I needed bedrest. I could have gotten it anywhere but it was more prevalent in the third world.
At my 2 week follow up with the infectious disease doctor, he had more news for me. One of the tests they sent off for had come back after I left the hospital. I tested positive for Hepatitis E. What? E? Who has ever heard of that? He told me that I didn't want to know this, but Hep E was a fecal-oral transmitted disease. He said that I probably got it from contaminated food in Ethiopia. Ewwww!
So I had CMV and Hep E. Who gets those? Apparently me! I know of SO many friends who have gone and no one has gotten sick like this except for me. In my weakness, Satan has had some power over me but I know who's stronger.
It has been a hard road to recovery. Needing bedrest and having full time help with my kids for 3 days wasn't enough but we've managed. It just meant that it took me longer to recover. God knew that. Luckily, I could take my time in the summer and then I didn't have to go back to teaching in the fall. Due to all of this and past health issues of mine, I was denied by health insurance companies. God knew this, too. We were shown other programs offered by our state so that I could get health insurance. It's not the best plan out there, but I'm thankful for it! Instead of running here and there and being busy, I've been able to spend time with my boys. I'm so very thankful my life isn't as busy as it used to be so that we can focus on our family and making memories together.
It's not easy. Adoption isn't easy. Illness isn't easy. Life isn't easy. Parenting sure isn't easy! But God knows this and when we lean to His word and not our own understanding, He not only gets us through, but He gets the glory! He has brought our family so far in the past year, I just can't wrap my head around it sometimes. He's continually teaching us something and I pray that we are always listening and receptive to the lessons to be learned and guide our family by His ways always.
The basics of the 5 day hospital stay: They knew I was really sick, had taken 2 trips to Africa, liver function tests were up, massive headaches, lots of fever, dehydration, white count mostly normal. The infectious disease doc went crazy ordering tests to see what I may have. They ran tests for anything tick related, yellow fever, dengue fever, the list goes on. They even did finger pricks and put my blood on about 10 slides to look at under the microscope. At one point, I remember him coming in and telling me that he had no idea what was making me so sick but he knew I didn't have HIV or malaria. Well, that was positive, right? I don't remember how many times my blood was taken in those few days-I lost count. They were sending some tests to the CDC in Atlanta, some across town to a big lab, and some were being read there at the hospital. I felt like some kind of science experiement! I ended up having an abdominal CT scan and now just thinking of the drink they gave me makes me want to gag! The next day I had a spinal tap and totally flipped out. I'd had one in high school once when I was so sick and it was a traumatic experience and at this point I was so exhausted and sick and just wanted to feel good and be home. The final thing they had me do was a urine sample and the fact that it looked like blood-tinged dark beer made me really nervous about what was going on in my body.
You know what? God is faithful. He always has been and He always will be. I prayed the entire time I was there that they would find answers and I would receive healing.
The verdict:
~Enlarged spleen
~Affected liver and kidneys
I found out that I had cytomegalovirus (CMV). Apparently, most people get it as kids and are mostly asymptomatic and then become immune to it. I'm in the 20% of adults who never was exposed to it as a kid and when you get it as an adult, it's really bad. It's similar to mono in its symptoms but is in the chicken pox/herpes family. They told me it would take about 2 months to recover and I needed bedrest. I could have gotten it anywhere but it was more prevalent in the third world.
At my 2 week follow up with the infectious disease doctor, he had more news for me. One of the tests they sent off for had come back after I left the hospital. I tested positive for Hepatitis E. What? E? Who has ever heard of that? He told me that I didn't want to know this, but Hep E was a fecal-oral transmitted disease. He said that I probably got it from contaminated food in Ethiopia. Ewwww!
So I had CMV and Hep E. Who gets those? Apparently me! I know of SO many friends who have gone and no one has gotten sick like this except for me. In my weakness, Satan has had some power over me but I know who's stronger.
It has been a hard road to recovery. Needing bedrest and having full time help with my kids for 3 days wasn't enough but we've managed. It just meant that it took me longer to recover. God knew that. Luckily, I could take my time in the summer and then I didn't have to go back to teaching in the fall. Due to all of this and past health issues of mine, I was denied by health insurance companies. God knew this, too. We were shown other programs offered by our state so that I could get health insurance. It's not the best plan out there, but I'm thankful for it! Instead of running here and there and being busy, I've been able to spend time with my boys. I'm so very thankful my life isn't as busy as it used to be so that we can focus on our family and making memories together.
It's not easy. Adoption isn't easy. Illness isn't easy. Life isn't easy. Parenting sure isn't easy! But God knows this and when we lean to His word and not our own understanding, He not only gets us through, but He gets the glory! He has brought our family so far in the past year, I just can't wrap my head around it sometimes. He's continually teaching us something and I pray that we are always listening and receptive to the lessons to be learned and guide our family by His ways always.
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