The dreaded subject...

...of fund raising.

I hate it.  But I love it.

I've said before that here isn't the place to discuss our family's finances...just a fund raiser announcement from time to time.  I will not beg for money from friends and family.  I have a real hard time soliciting my family in that way.  However, because one of my objectives of this blog is to help clear up some misunderstandings of adoption, I feel that this topic needs to be discussed at least once.

It's no secret; adoption isn't cheap.  Whether domestic or international, there's no way around it.  It's just expensive.  In our preliminary adoption research, we found that both routes of adoption are very comparable in cost depending on agency, country, etc.  Adoption through the foster care system is different and, while we would love to look into fostering some day, we don't feel like our young family is ready for that yet.

There are agency fees, homestudy fees, documentation fees, processing fees, courier fees, passports, travel costs, etc., etc., etc.  Because the Ethiopian government passed a new law a few months ago stating both adoptive parents have to make an extra trip to attend the court hearing, this has doubled our travel costs and added an extra $4-5,000 to our original total we were expecting.

Wouldn't it be nice if we lived in a world where adoption costs were covered under health insurance just like maternity/prenatal care is?  I figure they may cost about the same with all the monthly, bi-weekly, and weekly visits, the ultrasounds, the blood draws, the labor and delivery costs, etc.  Sometimes I feel like pulling the 'discrimination card' because it just isn't fair.  I feel like we're being penalized because of the way we have chosen to grow our family.  As if it is a bad thing. 

I start to second guess myself and the decision we have made for our family.  I think of how selfish it is to raise money and ask people for money to support this decision when it was us who made the decision and it's our responsibility...I mean, we don't all have fund raisers to help pay for our mortgage and car payments, right?  Then, I realize it wasn't 100% our decision.  It was God's.  We prayed and asked how to best grow our family and how to go about it.  This was the answer...loud and clear.  If this is truly God's will, how can I second guess that?  How can I doubt?  How can I not get others involved?  How can I not give others an opportunity to be involved in such a lifechanging event for our family?  Who knows, maybe someone else may be inspired to adopt after learning about our journey.  I begin to feel good about it all again but.......

RANT WARNING:::  Unfortunately I don't work for an adoption friendly employer.  We do not get paid maternity leave which is strange for a workforce of mostly women.  We just take our sick days and then use FMLA for the rest and don't get paid.  Most people I know at work lately have been able to take maternity leave using their short term disability policy.  I pay into this every pay period, yet I'm unable to claim it for adoption because I will not have been under a doctor's care.  This is what is totally overwhelming for me:  I have very few precious sick days, after those are gone, I will be docked my per diem rate of pay (higher daily rate of contract pay because I get my pay spread over 12 months rather than 9) which means I'll owe the district money, I will have to pay in my health insurance to the district, and I will have to pay my substitute teacher for every day she's there once my sick days are gone.  I'm seeing red negative signs! 

I figured all of this out right after we found out we had to make two trips and it has stressed me out so much.  It stressed me out until I finally gave it to God.  I recognized the financial mountain in front of us and asked God to simply move that mountain.  He can do it, can't He?  Why don't I believe that?  Why don't I have confidence in that?  Lately I've had more peace about it.

God has afforded our family many opportunities to make and save extra money.  Justin gets up every morning without fail to throw papers.  This extra job with middle-of-the-night hours is exhausting for him but we know this is a wonderful opportunity.  We are able to save part of my paycheck.  We aren't big spenders by nature, but we have found ways to be even more frugal.  The few small fund raisers we have done so far have been successful and we are planning several more very soon.

If you have contributed a Bottle Bank to us...THANK YOU!!!  We now have saved well over $1,300 just in your spare change!  If you want one, please let me know.  I just think it's amazing how God really is providing for us in the 'extras' of life.  Extra job, extra part of my check, extra spare change.  Pretty cool.

Right now, we are sitting at just a little more than 50% of our goal.  Along with what we are able to save, we hope that a few of these fund raisers will really make the difference and get us to our goal.  God is moving this mountain.  We are just $2,000 away from our next installment which is due upon receiving our referral.  I'm praying we have that much more in the bank before our call comes!  After that, it's all travel fees.

Here are some fund raising efforts that we are working on.  Some are ongoing while some are upcoming.  If you want information about any of them, please let me know.  Like I said, I will not openly solicit my family.  I don't feel right about it.

Bottle Banks:  Baby bottles to collect your spare change-HUGE success so far!

Piece By Piece:  We're putting together a puzzle for our baby's room.  Each puzzle piece can be sponsored by friends/family for $10 each, the sponsor's name written on the back of the piece, and it will be a very special keepsake for our child to be able to look at one day and see how many people contributed to them being here, as a part of our family.  We are in the process of sending out flyers with more information about this.

Garage Sales:  We had a huge sale in April with many donated items and were able to raise $900.  The next one will be Nov. 5 & 6.  There will be a bake sale with a lemonade/hot chocolate/coffee stand too!  If you have items to donate, please let us know.  If not, come by and take a gander!  We're hoping this one is even more profitable than the last.

Pictures:  My sister, Amy Kelton, is a photographer and will be doing another photo shoot to benefit us.  This time it will be Santa Pictures!  Order a package of pictures and even put the pics into Christmas cards and get all of the ordering done at once.  Lots more information to come!

On another adoption blog I once read, "God doesn't necessarily call the equipped; he equips the ones He calls."  I agree and I'm praying for more opportunities for Him to show us His providence.

Yay for referrals!

It's been a good week!  There were 5 referrals this week so we're now #20!  I can't imagine how excited those families are.

Five Months Waiting

I got an unexpected email yesterday from Ashley, our adoption consuntant from CHI.  She was just checking to see how the wait was going for us and said we were currently sitting at #25 on the overall waiting list!  WOW!  That's two spots ahead of where I thought we were.  Think we'll have a referral before Christmas?

Family

"They came to realize that family need not be defined merely as those with whom they share blood, but as those whom they would give their blood." -Dickens


"I'd rather regret the things I did, rather than the things I have not done." -Lucille Ball

"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat,

I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink,

I was a stranger and you invited me in, .....

The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth,

whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me."

Matthew 25:35,40

"And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me."

Matthew 18:5

"I asked God, 'How much time to I have before I die?'

He replied, 'Enough to make a difference...'" -Unknown

"We may affirm absolutely that nothing great in the world has been accomplished without passion." -G.W.F. Hegel

You may not know this but we have kind of inherited a new 'family member' recently.  Nothing legally binding, but he will forever be a part of our family by heart. 

His name is Eric and he's a beautiful young man. 

Out of respect for him and his family, I will not share his business but I can say that Eric has had a rough life.  We have watched him over the past few years as he has come to church on Wednesday nights mostly on his own.  You see, we knew his mother was very sick with cancer and had been for some time.  For a while, he was in Justin's class for teen boys and that's how they got to know each other.  We were always impressed at his politeness, maturity, and the willpower it took to come to church under his circumstances.  Who knows, he may have just come to church to play basketball after class....whatever the reason, we knew deep down that there was something special about this kid.

On May 21, 2010, Eric's mom went to be with Jesus.  Justin attended the funeral and couldn't stop thinking about Eric and what would be next for him.  He wasn't sure if he was going to move away or find somewhere to live here, etc.  I asked if he could come live with us.  (Crazy idea #274, right?)  It looked like it would be a reality and we were so excited!  For whatever reason, it wasn't to be.  However, Eric would still be in town so I was okay with that.

Over the next several months he really became part of the family.  We got him in touch with coaches and got him back on the high school basketball team, he went to summer school, we took him shopping for school clothes, we ate dinner together most nights, played in the back yard with Cooper, and watched movies.  He stayed with us many a night.  I always slept better when he was at our house.  I didn't worry.

Today, Eric moved to another state to live with his birthmother and uncle.  I have cried many, many selfish tears over the past few weeks...even now.  I was angry and hurt and incredibly sad in the days after he first told us he had to leave.  Looking at it now, I realize that, although I cannot understand it now, it's all part of God's perfect plan for not only Eric, but both of our families.  If I fight that, I'm fighting God's will.  I'm still selfishly frustrated that he had to leave everything that he finally had going for him posititvely here, but I have to remind myself that I'm not in control.  Apparently God has bigger and better plans for Eric and if that's the case, I can't wait to find out what it is!

Having Eric as a part of our family has taught us more about acceptance and tolerance.  Cooper has gained a big brother who jokes and tickles relentlessly, yet in a way has prepared him for his new brother- or sister-to-be.  Race has never been an issue in our household but it certainly isn't now.  Cooper has been taught to love regardless of the color of someone's skin and we have all been reminded that God's love is bigger than any so-called 'culture barrier.'

He calls us his "God Family" and I couldn't think of a better term.  God sent him to us to be a part of our family and nothing will ever take that away from us. 

Today, I'm thankful for family...whoever that may include.

Hmmmm......

I just looked over at the "About Me" section of the blog and realized that at the time of starting this blog, I had great intentions of going down this long and winding road with yummy coffee, good books, and lots of yarn.  Well, with school and work and all, I never got around to mcuh of that stuff...until hopefully now.  Since it's getting cooler finally, I'll get the coffee pot going more often.  I'm devouring the Hunger Games series and these blankets for Baby Coco are gathering dust in the corner beside me.  I've really got to get back on track!

There were 3 referrals this week so now we're #27.

I got backed up on counting change from the Bottle Bank fundraiser and counted out $381.40 in change today!  I think we're about halfway to our fundraising goal.  We save everything we can and put it towards the adoption and the few fundraisers we've had have really helped.  I'm just starting to get nervous about whether we'll have it all by the time we get our referral.  We are confident that God will provide but it's human nature that doubts and worries.

Godspeed, little (wo)man.