A little discouraged

I really thought this application would be out of my hands and into the will of the USPS by yesterday....oh, but it's not!  Of course my past medical history is keeping things from running smoothly.  I know there isn't anything simple about adoption but you'd think the application wouldn't be too bad.  Ugh!  I expect setbacks, etc. when we start the process of gahering all of the documents for the dossier because they'll want everything done exactly right.  I get that.  A letter from my doctor is what is taking so long right now.  It's just complicated.  Hopefully, if I can get my primary doc to sign this letter tomorrow while finding a notary somewhere, it will go out on New Year's Eve.  I doubt it.  I'll probably just drop it off tomorrow and maybe get it back one day next week.  I wanted all of this done before I went back to work but the holidays have made things a little slower, too.  Oh, well.  I can do all things through Christ who gives me strenght, right?  That's what I'm in need of right now...strength.  I've been looking at this for a few weeks now and I'm just tired of it. 

I'm also discouraged about going back to work next week.  If they don't have my room set up when I get back, I'm not sure what kind of strength and effort I'll have for this adoption process.  I know Satan is working hard right now.  I've just been discouraged easily the past couple of days.  Maybe it's the crash at the end of Christmas that's getting me down...let's hope so!  I have one more graduate class to finish this semester and I need to finish an incomplete class (LONG story) and I had hoped to graduate this month.  Somewhere in there very soon I need to be taking the Praxis II PLT (quick note to self!). 

Logically, I don't have the time or energy to be putting into an adoption.  Most people on the outside looking in would say we're crazy.  That's one main reason why we're not discussing this with people right now.  I don't need to defend myself about a decision we feel God has clearly stated for us. 

I'm feeling such a mix of emotions lately.  One minute tears come to my eyes beause I'm just so excited and happier than I've been in a long time and the next, I'm frustrated about all of the things that are out of my control.  Justin always tells me to only control the things that I can control.  Seems like a no-brainer, huh?  Then, why do I have such a hard time with it?

Christmas pictures!

Ok, so I'm a few days late for this but oh well.  Here is an OVERLOAD of pictures!  Enjoy!

Helping Mommy bake cookies for Santa!  When he saw this picture, he said, "Booper makin' a mess!"

So proud of his cookies!

With the cousins at Nana's house, Christmas Eve.

Opening presents with Daddy.  He got a Mickey Mouse CD that has Cooper's name in the songs!

Decorating our cookies.

All ready for Santa.  The reindeer even got carrots for a treat!

Reading 'Twas The Night Before Christmas

Look at Santa's presents for Cooper!!


A kitchen from Mommy and Daddy and a Mickey Mouse Choo-Choo from Santa.

How do we get this stinking bow off of here so we can PLAY???

At Nana's house Christmas morning, playing dress up with the girls.

I caught them snuggling while they were watching cartoons in the other room.  Too cute!

CHEESE!!

A rocking horse that gallops, neighs and eats a fake carrot.  Oh, and you can comb its mane.  It's kinda high-tech.  We...no, Justin has named it Theo.

Daddy and Cooper playing with cars.

Getting ready to go ride the trolly downtown...what a face.

On the trolly...

Merry Christmas!

If I can figure out how to post pictures on here, I'll post some of Christmas.  Cooper had such a wonderful time this year.  He finally got into Santa Claus and really enjoyed baking and decorating cookies for him...not to mention carrots for the reindeer!  He got a Mickey Mouse Choo-Choo from Santa and a kitchen with lots of accessories from us.  I'm looking forward to getting back to a normal routine since we've been "Christmasing" all week long!  Cooper's naps have been a little crazy this week.

Wednesday night, Justin and I went to Bruno's and the movies to see The Blind Side.  Amazing!  It made my heart smile.  As we were leaving, Justin made a comment about how many 'signs' we've seen lately letting us know that we're making the right choice and seeing this movie was just one more piece of reassurance for us.  Today, I took pictures of the house...after I cleaned up the Christmas mess!  I'm just waiting on one more email reply from CHI on a question about the application and I should be sending it all in on Monday.  I can't believe this!

So the journey begins...

So much on my mind tonight...

My thoughts to J...So, when you pray for something wholeheartedly and the answer comes loud and clear and the door is wide open and you're getting shoved through it....I guess it means we have to go forward with it, doesn't it? ::insert super-giddy-yet-overwhelmed smiley::


Months from now, I'll finally be able to reveal this blog to the world. The thought makes me want to cry just thinking about it. It's been a hard road lately but we have decided to adopt. Not just adopt, but we're going international...to Ethiopia! I've always wanted to adopt and I am confident that this is where God has led us. As of yet, I'm not ready to tell the world about this because there are a lot of questions you may ask that I'm not prepared to answer right now. Frankly, I don't even know if I have the answers yet. Logically, it doesn't make sense...right now we don't have the time or the money for this journey. All I know is that God has laid this at our feet and we are not passing it by.


A quick run-down so far...
September 2009: 2nd Laparoscopy Surgery (endometriosis)
October 2009: More testing...bad news, printed off info on adoption but kept it to myself
November 2009: Thinking about how to bring up adoption to J, Garry had a sermon about adoption :)
December 2009: Got in touch with 2 friends who adopted recently and received great advise and requested a CHI adoption info packet. When I received an email from CHI, there was information about Ethiopia and my heart melted! SOLD!


We have to take some pictures of us and our home to turn in with the application so it'll go out within the next few days.


At each step in this short journey so far, I prayed for God to tell me what to do next. It was all so overhwelming that I didn't know where to start so I looked to him to show me the way. I have no clear reason why we chose Children's Hope International, except friends recommended it and they emailed me back. I have no clear reason why we chose Ethiopia, except it was discussed in the email from CHI and when I read it, I KNEW this was it.


http://adopt.childrenshope.net/programs/ethiopia/


If you know anything about me, you know that I love to travel and I love to help others. Maybe this is why international adoption appeals to me more than domestic adoption...a topic I hope to address later. There's a song by Brandon Heath that I've fallen in love with over the past year called, "Give Me Your Eyes." Oh, how many times have I prayed the words of this song? Part of me wants to be naive about this world, sheltered from evil. However, deep down I know this isn't the right thing to do. There's not much about me that's sugar-coated...neither is my view of the world. I'm sure some people see me at times as cynical or blunt....probably more accurately, a realist. I'm thankful for having the opportunity at a young age to travel the world. I was able to have my eyes opened to the needs of humanity on so many different levels. Then, with our work at church with the kids from our Levy community I was able to continue that. Now, as I teach struggling middle schoolers, I'm reminded of the needs of God's children daily. Please watch the video of this song and pray the lyrics...