A little discouraged

I really thought this application would be out of my hands and into the will of the USPS by yesterday....oh, but it's not!  Of course my past medical history is keeping things from running smoothly.  I know there isn't anything simple about adoption but you'd think the application wouldn't be too bad.  Ugh!  I expect setbacks, etc. when we start the process of gahering all of the documents for the dossier because they'll want everything done exactly right.  I get that.  A letter from my doctor is what is taking so long right now.  It's just complicated.  Hopefully, if I can get my primary doc to sign this letter tomorrow while finding a notary somewhere, it will go out on New Year's Eve.  I doubt it.  I'll probably just drop it off tomorrow and maybe get it back one day next week.  I wanted all of this done before I went back to work but the holidays have made things a little slower, too.  Oh, well.  I can do all things through Christ who gives me strenght, right?  That's what I'm in need of right now...strength.  I've been looking at this for a few weeks now and I'm just tired of it. 

I'm also discouraged about going back to work next week.  If they don't have my room set up when I get back, I'm not sure what kind of strength and effort I'll have for this adoption process.  I know Satan is working hard right now.  I've just been discouraged easily the past couple of days.  Maybe it's the crash at the end of Christmas that's getting me down...let's hope so!  I have one more graduate class to finish this semester and I need to finish an incomplete class (LONG story) and I had hoped to graduate this month.  Somewhere in there very soon I need to be taking the Praxis II PLT (quick note to self!). 

Logically, I don't have the time or energy to be putting into an adoption.  Most people on the outside looking in would say we're crazy.  That's one main reason why we're not discussing this with people right now.  I don't need to defend myself about a decision we feel God has clearly stated for us. 

I'm feeling such a mix of emotions lately.  One minute tears come to my eyes beause I'm just so excited and happier than I've been in a long time and the next, I'm frustrated about all of the things that are out of my control.  Justin always tells me to only control the things that I can control.  Seems like a no-brainer, huh?  Then, why do I have such a hard time with it?