Aaaand two weeks later.....

I guess I'll get around to my little personal pep talk.

Not long after we got home and I was here at the house with the boys during the day before I went back to work, I told Justin how lazy I felt.  I was dealing with a new baby who we were all trying to learn, jet lag, a decision to quit my job that no one knew about at this point, and I just felt like I couldn't get caught up with anything and didn't really care to.  There were days when nothing around the house got done...we just survived.  And this was before I even got sick...I'll get to that post soon.  His reply to me?  "Emily, think about everything you have accomplished over the past 3 1/2-4 years and then tell me you're lazy!"  Thanks for the perspective, honey.

Over the past 3 1/2-4 years, I...
*Had Cooper
*Decided to change careers from a nutritionist to a teacher
*Started grad school
*Quit my job at the hospital
*Started working as a middle school teacher-I had no curriculum the first 1.5 years and wrote it all myself
*Had surgery and dealt with some really terrible medication therapy
*Decided to adopt and began down that road
*Waited, waited, waited...
*Graduated with my master's
*Got our referral for Silas
*Surgery again, out of state
*Traveled to ET for court
*Completed my Praxis III for my teaching license
*Traveled to ET to get Silas
*Decide to stay home with my boys
*Sick for 2 months with illnesses I likely got in ET/from Silas
*Currently working on a few ministry ideas that should be in place in the next few months...and another trip to Ethiopia!?!

Okay, so I guess I don't fall into the category of lazy.  To be honest, I've overworked myself the past few years.  Between having a small child, going to grad school, starting a new career, being on the adoption journey, and dealing with health issues all at the same time has been almost more than I could handle at times. Now, when I actually slow down and take time for myself it feels like I'm being lazy or not accomplishing anything.  But I've now realized that my sanity is important. :)  My priorities have changed some and my family is my focus.  It feels good to have gotten through the last few rough years and who knows how rough the next few may be.  If so, I know we will make it because we've been tested in several ways and have made it through beautifully.

This is my attempt to tell myself that, as I head into this new season of my life, I can do it and I can do it well. When I have a 'lazy' day with the boys here at home, it's because I'm savoring them and my time with them while they're young.  I haven't abandoned teaching and I will go back to it someday because I love it...but not more than my two sweet babies.  I've found a job that I love so much that I don't care if I don't get paid and I'm thankful for a chance to slow my life down a little.  We've been working on cutting out many things from our lives that we don't have to have.  Living more simply.  I'm ready to take on the new challenge ahead of me and be able to enjoy it all at the same time.  Something that I haven't really been able to do the past few years with so many different things going on at once.

Not sure I feel 'peppy' now, but certainly at peace.